The beginning

We met during freshman orientation at our conservative Christian school. I was chatting with some girls on the front porch of our dorm, and he came over with another girl to join the group – we were all headed into town for some pizza. And so began our friendship, and for me a crush. We were both music majors so we shared lots of classes and many mutual friends. We ran in the same group.

During one of our breaks from school  that year, we were Instant Messaging each other (yep, for real) when he confided in me that he “thought he was gay.” I don’t recall exactly what I said to him in return, but mostly it was something like “Oh, ok.” Because he was my friend and I wasn’t concerned about it. Although I certainly knew the implications at our school, and in his life (the child of a pastor.) That it most certainly was not ok.

Our friendship continued for the rest of our first year. Soon after school let out, I went to visit him. (Our families lived only about 2 hours from one another) During that visit, the trajectory of everything changed, because he kissed me. A lot. Well,I was thrilled and over the moon and thought…”well, I guess he really isn’t gay!”

Now let me interject here that I realize how confusing and odd that sounds. And when I look back on it now I see it all. But at the time it felt like the best thing that could have happened to me.

That was the beginning of  3 years of dating. We were truly best friends. Inseparable.At the end of our college career the next obvious choice was to get married, and we did. I was so happy! For quite a few years…